This week on “hold off, So is this a Date?” we’re joined by Autostraddle CEO and
L Term
specialist
Riese Bernard
to go over: The Chart. That is right! This occurrence is all about lesbian interconnectivity â hooking up with pals’ exes, buddies setting up with your exes, and the culture created by all of that crisis.
Appear for news, stay your mental control. And before that enjoy a casino game that tests Christina’s limits: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she typically wouldn’t.)
Thank you for all your nice comments after all of our premiere! For those who haven’t but think about providing us with a rating or review!
SHOW RECORDS
+ 5 years ago Riese built an
Old Hollywood data
that is the intersection of my interests.
+ Listed Here Is
the article
We reference in which We mention setting up with my roommates.
+ My crush with the few days Mj Rodriguez released a songs video clip on her behalf song
“something you should state”
!
+ As anyone who has only seen some episodes of
The Nanny
this montage
of Christina’s crush of few days C.C. Babcock ended up being shocking if you ask me with regards to turned out she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina tells me they essentially nonetheless tend to be.)
Drew:
I would be really fine along with it current. I’d never ever add another person without their authorization. Although concept of each and every time some one ended up being like, “Confirm that you are connected with myself,” I would resemble, “Yeah, this is the life I resided. I don’t care about.” Would be that odd? Usually difficulty?
Christina:
No, as if I happened to ben’t, i’d feel terrible not-being. I would be like, “Wait, I am not sleeping?”
Theme song plays
Drew:
Hi, I’m Drew.
Christina:
Hi, I Am Christina.
Drew:
And thank you for visiting
Hold Off, Is This A Date?
Christina:
Wait, So Is This A Date?
is actually an Autostraddle podcast asking the big questions. Firstly, could it be a romantic date? What exactly are dates? That are dates? Will we like times? They are the method of concerns that we address with this right here extremely professional and lovely podcast.
Drew:
I’m called Drew Gregory. I’m a writer at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.
Christina:
I’m called Christina Tucker. I am in addition a writer at Autostraddle. Im a loud queer online. I will be improving at explaining myself as a writer and, notoriously, a lesbian. That’s united states. Which is whom our company is.
Drew:
Yeah. And our very own major subject recently could be the Chart.
Christina:
I just thought it needed a sting. I’m not sure. That felt actually dramatic, but I think it required it.
Drew:
Yes. No, please, please, kindly. Thank-you, thank you so much. No, no, no. The most effective number of drama.
Christina:
Thanks.
Drew:
Yeah. So we’re making reference to lesbian interconnectivity.
Christina:
Everyone loves that phrase as it feels like you’ll want to restart the lesbians. It sounds like internet connection actually working.
Drew:
Yes. it is extremely higher level, very futuristic, but has been around since there has been lesbians, i believe.
Christina:
Yeah. I believe scholars would say after they discovered the initial lesbian fossils, they discovered a chart alongside of them carved to the mud. And I also believe that’s what that film is all about, proper? It’s about the information? That motion picture with Kate Winslet plus the sand fossils?
Drew:
Ammonite?
Christina:
Yeah, that’s what it’s about.
Drew:
I wish
Ammonite
involved cave females. I would enjoy that lesbian film.
Christina:
Well, when I have not observed it, I’m going to fearlessly declare that it was. Cool.
Drew:
Yeah. Since it is like we’ve got numerous lesbian duration parts, but we have never gone right back that much. And I also think it’s the perfect time we perform.
Christina:
Let us simply hold taking it further back in its history.
Drew:
Before we become to the main topic, you are nevertheless learning you. And I believed it would be fun to play a-game for which you guys could really learn Christina. Thus all of our icebreaker for this week is a tiny bit online game that I call “Would U-Haul.”
Christina:
Im, once more, so pressured concerning this. This might you should be the way I come inside game. This could be my game mindset, just a little high-key, some stressed. That’s fine. We are all reading.
Drew:
I think that’s fantastic. I believe that allow you to be more susceptible, perhaps.
Christina:
Certainly my personal favorite thoughts.
Drew:
Merely a terror, just an intense terror. So that the method in which “Would U-Haul” works is actually I’m going to explain a scenario. Why don’t we refer to it as Christina follower fiction. And that I’m planning to pause after each and every little section to get want, “Okay, Christina, i am aware you have never ever resided with somebody, don’t want to live with someone. But under these situations, would U-Haul?”
Christina:
And that I will often say yes or we’ll state, “i am prepared.”
Drew:
If you don’t â really, we’re going to see here. But I’m excited. I do believe I’ve possibly damaged the code.
Christina:
You have damaged the rule? I am thrilled.
Drew:
Let’s see how long this requires. And in case you won’t ever perform, i believe you victory? I’m not sure how there are champions here.
Christina:
I’m not sure there exists champions in online game of U-Hauling.
Drew:
Well, I don’t know any time you’ll trust that after this. And so I’m going to get going.
Christina:
Reasonable sufficient.
Drew:
Okay. Thus, Christina.
Christina:
Drew.
Drew:
You are at your buddy’s marriage. Inspite of the large number of romcoms you have soaked up, you probably did maybe not check-out this wedding ceremony thinking you had satisfy any person because, really, this is not a romcom. This is actually the real and regular life of Christina Grace Tucker. You take your assigned seat and are glancing at your phone whenever you realize a female at your dining table wants at you. She introduces by herself as your pal’s previous baby-sitter. She actually is stayed a buddy of this family, but she does not actually know anybody there. She looks like mid-forties and has a striking angular face. You start chatting. She offers to allow you to get a drink. When she rises, you recognize she is six foot large, 6â² 3â³ in pumps. Which means you understand what? I’m only planning to stop there and be similar, at this stage, would U-Haul?
Christina:
I’m captivated. I’m fascinated because i may get put during that marriage. But yet I’m not U-Hauling anyplace.
Drew:
Cool. Which is entirely reasonable. Completely reasonable. Okay. And that means you spend whole marriage observing each other. There is just an immediate spark and quick biochemistry. And certainly, you do hook up as well as the gender is actually amazing.
Christina:
Tight.
Drew:
And this marriage was at Northern California. And so you both increase the remains for three days to fuck and explore and eat at restaurants and fuck. And also you supply to split the price of the now joint room, but she laughs you down and is also love, “Obviously not, honey.” Therefore, the subsequent three days tend to be secret. You think your wall space tumbling straight down. You’re falling quicker than you previously have actually. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Very just for quality’s benefit, I’m having difficulty picturing a world for which I got three shock days off of strive to spend time with individuals i actually do not know. That seems bonkers. However if I did, great for myself. But i am not U-Hauling at this stage. It will likely be a no.
Drew:
Great. Okay. That is good. You just met. I get it. I get it. Okay.
Christina:
Thank you so much such.
Drew:
So she comes back to ny and you return to Philadelphia.
Christina:
This is where I reside.
Drew:
And you’re texting on a regular basis. This is where you reside which is where this girl life. And you’re texting always therefore see each other several times four weeks. She is extremely active along with her job, but she is fast to get you a train solution so you’re able to come see the girl and stay at her breathtaking brownstone in Fort Greene. Following six months pass. Plus one night when you are off to dinner, she asks that move around in together with her. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
And proceed to Ny? Really don’t really love nyc. No, I am not moving in at 6 months tag. I’m not performing that, no.
Drew:
Okay, okay. Entirely, completely, totally. Wow. Okay. So you keep matchmaking long-distance. She knows that you may need some time and she is ready to wait for you. Even more several months pass. It’s today been over per year. Your own landlord lets you know they are selling your place to a developer that’s investing in condos, and that means you can’t renew it. You should get a hold of a new location. Your own today sweetheart lets you know that no stress, but her offer nonetheless stands. Would U-Haul?
Christina:
Okay. At this stage, I would personally U-Haul for two explanations.
Drew:
Yay! Fine. Please tell us.
Christina:
Mostly, in a world whereby my property owner ended up selling the house to build it, my personal property manager is my personal closest friend, making sure that appears like anything went wrong within our friendship. And that I might choose to only keep Philadelphia anyhow. If in case I get to maneuver in using my girlfriend over right here, that seems great. Which is okay. Totally great. But yeah, In my opinion i may need an external force like a mean property owner.
Drew:
That’s very â okay. I did so believe that might need to need housing to have truth be told there, so I’m pleased I knew that.
Christina:
Yeah. That is precisely what has got to affect me personally first.
Drew:
Really, I’m happy to understand what it does take. So in theory, if you weren’t kicked out, how much cash more hours?
Christina:
Really, might went on for quite some time. Philly and nyc are not even that not even close to both. I got space over right here. We are jumping to and fro. We are having memories. I possibly could have permit that roll for some time until i suppose Shoshana can become the worst individual I know.
Drew:
I did not know Shoshana owned your home. Really, there you decide to go.
Christina:
There we get. Wow, that has been exciting.
Drew:
Well, many thanks for playing.
Christina:
I am pressured, become obvious.
Drew:
And I also’m pleased that I’m sure⦠Maybe if you should be ever, so if anyone’s ever online dating you and wants that move around in, maybe your girlfriend told Shoshana to market the house for the sake of your own connection.
Christina:
Genuinely the fastest method â some one would have to speak to Shoshana and become love, “simply kick this lady around.” Immediately after which she’d resemble, “Yeah, positive. Obviously.” That could be the way it occurred, although she didn’t sell your house. Some one would you should be like, “are you able to simply stop this lady away very she’s going to only get over it and move around in with me?” And she would state yes. Double she’d do this. That is what friendship is.
Drew:
Everyone loves that.
Christina:
Yeah, that is truly stunning.
Drew:
Well, personally i think like we learned a lot about yourself.
Christina:
Thank You. I feel like We discovered a great deal about my self, too. Threat of homelessness is truly the point that helps to keep myself transferring any scenario, i assume. Wow.
Drew:
Well, which is fantastic.
Christina:
That has been actually thrilling. I am equally thrilled to move into our primary part because I think speaing frankly about lesbian connectivity using this guest, with this particular special guest, i believe it’s going to be amazing, Drew. Exactly how could you be feeling?
Drew:
I’m thus excited. This will be a specialized. And also by that, i am talking about an
L Word
specialist, and a small amount of a specialist during the topic at hand.
Christina:
In my opinion two things tends to be genuine, my buddy. I believe two things could be real without a doubt. Do we should present our very own guest or do we desire our very own visitor to introduce themselves?
Drew:
I would personally love our guest to introduce by herself.
Christina:
Guest.
Drew:
I shall declare that the visitor is the only Riese Bernard.
Christina:
Guest, speak.
Riese:
Hi, I’m Riese. And is odd to be the guest!
Christina:
Yeah, really.
Riese:
I experienced to not state everything. I didn’t also get it done. I did say things. I had to sit here quietly.
Christina:
And also you were actually daring. And your faces were appreciated.
Riese:
Many thanks plenty.
Christina:
Though this really is obviously an audio medium, I want our listeners to understand that Riese was producing some great impulse faces during “Would U-Haul.”
Riese:
There is numerous ways as heard. You-know-what What i’m saying is? That is what i usually say. Im the Chief Executive Officer of Autostraddle.com. And I’m additionally on an undefeated kickball group. And that is me. You will find a puppy called Carol. And I have actually outdated people.
Christina:
Congrats about kickball!
Riese:
Many thanks. I have been involved with individuals.
Christina:
Great. Adoring that. That is fantastic to take for this, this here matchmaking podcast. That’s good.
Riese:
Yeah. I think that⦠can there be other things?
Drew:
No, In my opinion that’s great, Riese.
Christina:
Whatever you want to discuss.
Riese:
I like raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and swimming pools.
Christina:
In Contrast toâ¦
Riese:
You know an individual goes likeâ¦
Drew:
It’s like as soon as you hit. Yeah.
Christina:
Oh. Those are disgusting, thus I just exhausted them from my personal head.
Riese:
Yeah. And that is all.
Christina:
Great.
Drew:
Really, we instantly looked at you with this subject.
Christina:
That is true.
Drew:
Because first and foremost, certainly, queer females and non-binary folks in lesbian society are like, I am not sure, having sex with people which their friends had gender with since long before
The L Word
ended up being ever a string. But I do feel
The L Keyword
solidified a certain social notion of the information with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I felt like might have lots of understanding of this subject.
Riese:
Its correct. Two of the article authors, I want to say, of
The L Term
had this actual data of those and their buddies these were drawing from the wall or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, In my opinion, was one of them. She spoke to us about any of it, that they had built this. Because certainly, everybody else where blogger’s place had fucked other individuals during the creator â you realize, and the prolonged web of that generation of lesbians in l . a .. And they also watched that and they were like, “let us place it for the tv series.” Plus some of those are on the information. Like, some of the people just who ⦠like, genuine individuals are in the data as a tale.
Christina:
That is wonderful. That is the way you know you have made it.
Riese:
Is not that sexy?
Christina:
That would be thrilling for my situation.
Riese:
Therefore if you haven’t viewed
The L Word,
first and foremost, congrats. Second, it gets the centerpiece of a single of one’s head fictional character, Alice’s, apartment. She has it all over the woman wall surface. And it also will be the name of a web page they started called ourchart.com that flopped. Together with concept ⦠and it is inside pilot, i do believe. During the 1st event, Alice begins dealing with just how every person’s linked, because everybody’s hooked up with this particular person. And that I can hook up you, like you’re probably a maximum of two degrees away from me. Hence was actually true. Like, despite Dana, who’d very limited experience because she was a closeted golf player, they nonetheless could connect this lady. And that’s actuality since it is genuine.
Christina:
That is tradition. Yeah. That’s what society seems like.
Riese:
That’s culture. Which is queer society immediately. And from now on every person helps make their particular maps.
Christina:
Yeah. In order for would definitely end up being my personal subsequent concern, had been have either people made a chart? Because Really don’t think I have, and I am kind of today considering like, that which was this a year ago sitting within my home for easily don’t make a chart? Like, that was the point of that, really?
Riese:
I believe i have completed it in my own log, in the same manner like ⦠Because I really like, I am not sure, organizing info, i assume, as a thought exercise.
Christina:
Yeah, i do believe that is in addition precisely why I am amazed that You will findn’t accomplished it. I prefer the concept of categorizing circumstances.
Riese:
Right. Yeah. Since it is interesting. I am not sure the reason why it’s therefore fascinating, however it is. Its interesting become like, wow, each one of these individuals, they are connected. Its untamed.
Drew:
From the tv show, as soon as ourchart.com is actually developed, they usually have a genuine chart that people will add things. And I also feel like something you joked when it comes to on
To L and Back,
and now individuals state everyday is a lot like, if this existed in an actual means, no one would put their particular labels upon it, nobody would feel comfortable getting their brands onto it.
Riese:
You’d.
Drew:
I would personally. I’d end up being really good with-it existing. I would never ever include someone else without their unique permission. However the thought of like, whenever some body was like, “concur that you may be linked to me personally,” I’d end up like, “Yeah, oahu is the existence I’ve resided. I don’t worry about.” Is odd? Is difficulty?
Christina:
No, as if I wasn’t, I would feel poor not-being ⦠I would personally be like, “Wait, I’m not about it? Like, I’m sorry, just what?” No, that would actually deliver myself into a light moral anxiety about who Im as individuals, what I’m undertaking. Am I interesting? Carry out individuals {like
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